Ventura >> Big Sur >> San Francisco >> Santa Monica >> Phoenix >> Grand Canyon

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What we have here is a little or should I say a long description of a trip that we took to the States. I started out wanting to do this as a little diary type thing for myself and it ended up being a loooong story. So I decided to include it as a part of my website. So if you have nothing better to do, by all means wade through my ramblings. Nuff said....enjoy.

The Weekend Before

Finished work on a Thursday evening and caught a plane the next day to Germany for Jochen And Karin's wedding. Had a weekend of Schnitzels and delicious German beer. Karin and Jochen had a lovely wedding and we even had a little Bloodstone reunion at the after party that evening. Spent the following two days basically over-indulging and flew back to London Tuesday evening. We arrived at the airport on Wednesday morning in time for our flight to the United States of America on United Airlines. The check in process was just chaos. I never want to have to go through that ugly process again. It's the closest I've ever felt to being a domestic animal in the line for sheep dip.

The Flight West - Day 1 (Wednesday September 2nd, 1998)

After what seemed like two days of sunshine during which time we watched 2 movies, 'The Truman Show' & 'Lost In Space', fell asleep, dined on some very tasty cuisine and swallowed copious amounts of Bloody Mary's and Canadian Club's with Coke, we touched down in Washington DC on Wednesday evening. Despite having thought we could stay aboard our comfy Boeing 777, we had to disembark and clear customs, collect our luggage and re-embark a smaller plane with the same flight number but only half the horsepower and supply of liquor. The headphones were no longer free. (Damn! Should have kept the free ones from the international flight.) We cleared customs without even the slightest hitch, like a fresh sea breeze on a hot summers day, and yes I do believe I heard those magic words which you sometimes hear in the movies, "Welcome to the United States". What? No cavity searches? Gee, I didn't even get to flash my MTV pass or anything. (I'd been told that customs officials have been known to strike up arcane conversations with people who work for MTV.)The first thing which struck me about the airport were the candy machines, news stands with candy, local city merchandise(Washington t-shirts, baseball caps and key rings) various other shops with candy and the mighty 'Starbucks' coffee chain (and they probably sold candy there too). What a cool name for a coffee shop. 'S T A R B U C K S'. I headed for the first news stand and sure enough...there really were five different flavours of Tic Tac; Orange, Cinnamon, Wintergreen, Spearmint and Original. In the words of Homer Simpson, "Whoo hoo!". On our walk to the boarding gate which took ages, we passed a little bar in which passengers were treating themselves to large amounts of imported German beer in imported German beer glasses. We eventually boarded our plane and flew to LA. (see pic LAX). Now LA airport is under construction. The outside looks pretty cool but the inside looks like a movie set under demolition. Feeling slightly tired and a little unsure of what to expect from the 'City of Angels' we took a shuttle to the car hire place and picked up a red Mitsubishi Mirage, automatic of course. We consulted the map and hit the freeway for Ventura.

The Ride to Ventura

First thing I did was get hooted at and I thought, "Oh no. This is it we're going to get shot and we haven't even been here a half and hour. But there were no bullets as I politely waved sorry in the mirror. It was dark but we found our way and arrived in Ventura about an hour later. The Hotel, a Best Western, was OK except for the family next door who looked and sounded dangerous. Their door was open and they were like hanging around looking suspicious. I had the feeling there were like two guys, brawny, greasy hair and tattooed, as well as a woman and a child. They made a dreadful noise most of the evening and at one stage I was sure I heard the child's head smash into the adjoining door to our room. There were however no screams. I kept thinking they were going to break down the door we shared, pull guns on us and relieve us of our cash and travellers cheques and do something dastardly to us, but all my fears were unfounded and we were so tired that we drifted off to sleep soon enough anyway.

Big Sur, California - Day 2 (Thursday, September 3rd, 1998)

Ding! ding! ding! Woke at 3:00am bright and early ready to start the day but nobody else did so we went back to sleep. Ding! ding! ding! Woke at 4:00am and again at 5:00am ready to go, go, go, but the rest of California were still in dreamland. We were of course living on European time and spent the next few days desperately trying to readjust. Switched on the TV careful not to wake the dangerous family next door and watched 'The Little House On The Prairie' at 5:30am. This was to become my solace for the next 5 days. Up at 5:30 for an hour of Michael Landon and Ingals family. The 9 or so channels we could receive were OK but the reception was always a bit crummy. At 7:00am we headed for reception and a little complementary breakfast. What a surprise! A coffee vending machine, an artificial orange juice dispenser and a perspex box of the stickiest, most drenched in sugar and vanilla essence selection of Danish looking things you'll find anywhere. We tried all the local delicacies and feeling like we had just had dessert, went for a walk on the pier. On returning to the hotel we decided to treat ourselves to a dip in the pool and a quick jacuzzi before hitting the scenic coastal route 101 for San Francisco. While we were in the pool we noticed some of the other guests in the courtyard. A peculiar assortment of people. There was one scrawny, moustachioed, Stetson wearing man who kept spitting on the radiator icon of his Cadillac and shining it with his jacket sleeve. Then he would cough up a phlegm ball and walk back into his room, mutter something and return smoking a cheroot. He did this about three times. There was a German tourist and his 15 year old son clad in what looked like an American flag shirt. It seemed to say, "If you're hunting tourists, shoot me first."

Up The West Coast To Big Sur

We set off up the coast and after making some headway drove up a hill and into a misty cloud where as if from nowhere appeared a beautiful little place by the name of Big Sur. (see Bigsur pic). High above us in the trees were two of the most amazingly bright, powder blue feathered birds mating passionately and rather noisily as we sat and drank two very unusual and salty cappuccinos in the afternoon sun. There was also an interesting art exhibition and a large souvenir shop run by what seemed at first glance to be a family of female hippies trying to sell rocks and bits of artistically arranged driftwood and seaweed from the surrounding area. So we stocked up on postcards and hit the road again. It was quite windy at times and the speed limit was between 25 and 65 mph. There was a lot of clearly visible fault damage in certain parts. The earth in this part of the world had obviously seen more action than most, seismically that is. The surrounding landscape was full of brown and black cows and at one point we came across a field of cattle which were sharing their living quarters with two of the finest specimens of zebra I've ever come across outside of Africa. Elke and I blinked at each other wide eyed in disbelief and checked the map to see which continent we were on. The entire drive lasted about 7 or 8 hours. The filling station was an interesting experience. You have to prepay and for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to get the gas vending machine to pump. So I walked into the garage and paid $10 and asked what the procedure was if we only used a portion of the amount paid. The woman behind the till explained with a hint of amusement in her eye that she would give us our change if we didn't use all the money. Seemed like a funny system to me but after choosing a large selection of candy, bubble gum and a Root Beer, I went back out to the car, found I was now able to pump gas and began filling up. It took me about 5 minutes alone to figure out how to operate the pump. Eventually in desperation I read the instructions and that was the end of my stoopid session for the day. I decided not to over extend myself mentally for the rest of the afternoon. You have to take the gasoline hose in your hand, press start, lift the lever and then squeeze the handle to pump. Four different actions, whereas in Europe you just pick up the hose, aim and squeeze. Just for good measure this turned out to be one of the few gas stations where the gas pump didn't notice when things were getting full and the gas duly spilled out, down the side of the car and over my shoes. Needless to say it only took like $7 and I had to walk back into the shop reeking of gas and ask for my change. More amusement for the attendant. We drove on and eventually when we hit the highway into San Francisco a strange thing happened. The left lane was entirely devoid of cars but the right two or three lanes were jammed. We noticed a sign which said 'Car Pools Only'. Car pools are cars with two or more people and as such can use the left lane whilst all other single motorists are only allowed to use the right and centre lanes during peak hours. Yessssss!!! What a fantastic rule! So we cruised into San Francisco during rush hour without a care in the world.

San Francisco - A Perfect Place For An Earthquake

We checked into the Best Western 'Americania' and called Alex. Alex and Aretha, two good pals from Germany who now live in San Francisco, came around and we went out for steaks. We walked San Francisco flat looking for a good place to eat and eventually settled on a jazz cafe type place. The jazz was good and the food was average, but we were hungry and there was much to chat about. Although we were tired Alex and Aretha insisted on showing us some of the sights. We drove down Lombard street, a very steep, zig zag street famous for its steep, zig zaggedness. It is such and unusual street that the Japanese tourists spend hours driving up and down on scooters taking snapshots of one another. It must drive the residents apeshit I thought. We also went up to the bottom of the Coit tower which overlooked the city and was closed but there was a fairly decent view of the lights and the bridge anyway. It was beautiful but we were pooped and soon ended up back at the hotel where we said goodnight and hit the sack. Slept all the way through 3am and woke at 4am and again at 5am and watched 'The Little House On The Prairie'. Jetlag is an ugly thing. Went downstairs for a delightful breakfast of pancakes, and omelettes. Americans know how to celebrate breakfast in style. We had Blueberry pancakes with maple syrup, ham and cheese omelette and the ever cheerful bottomless cups of coffee (soup bowls of coffee would be more appropriate). The mugs in the US are sometimes fairly large, like something you may expect to find in an Alice In Wonderland adventure.

Escape to Alcatraz - Day 3 (Friday, September 4th, 1998)

After breakfast we took a taxi to pier 41 and waited at the Alcatraz merchandise store for our ferry to Alcatraz island. The ferry ride was harmless enough but I noticed that every American that boarded the boat at 11am either had a super large Coke or a handful of bakery items in their hands. Pretzels, bagels, Danishes, doughnuts, you name it. No wonder there are so many obese people in the US. Throughout the trip we came across quite a few people you just either wouldn't want to be on a boat with, or a cliff at the Grand Canyon for that matter. Seriously whale-like bipeds. I found Alcatraz to be a fairly nice place. We opted for the self guided tour. You picked up a walkman with a tape narrated by some of the former inmates and prison guards. They describe the brutal scenes that took place inside the prison. There are people who recount what people like Al Capone, 'Machine Gun' Kelly and Birdman were like. They describe the escape attempts and the murder attempts in the mess hall. What not many people realise is that many of the wardens actually had family living on the premises. There were gardens with green lawns and kids and teenagers running about on some parts of the island. It's a little hairy when one of the former inmates describes looking out of the window and seeing this pretty teenage girl walking about and how he felt about seeing her. They say there was always a nice view of the ocean and San Francisco in the distance and on a good day one could hear the voices of the residents of San Francisco echoing across the bay so they didn't feel completely cut off from society. All in all it seemed like a nice place to go if you had been misbehaving socially. We peered inside some of the cells (see Alcatraz & Jailbird pics) and walked around what used to be solitary confinement, the showers, mess hall, gun gallery, visitors windows and guard rooms. It was not at all the eerie place I had expected. Once back on solid land we met up with Alex and Aretha for a clam chowder and some afternoon shopping. Clam chowder isn't all that grand I must add. It's a simple mix of potato soup and sea food in a large hollowed out ball of 'sour dough'. We had the take-away variety which is supposedly the best too. Spent the afternoon shopping, looking for Anton Lavey's former house, book stores and a particular strip club where they had both male and female dancers. In the evening we went for beers and sea food at pier 39. Had some succulent, fresh sea food and then went for a walk on the pier passing by Forest Gump's restaurant, 'Gump Shrimps' or something to that effect. Another really fun thing about California is the fact that you can't smoke in public places. We went to a couple of smoke free pubs later that evening and guzzled great gallons of good beer.

[california part 2]